Friday, 30 December 2011

Imperfection

I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find and explore the world. I don't believe in puppy love, a temporary love for an adolescent. I thought I'm ready to have a partner or we can say a 'declare' thing but now I realize, it's not the time yet. Really. And I'm so sorry for what I have said. I'm sorry for being like this and give you hope that is apparently not so sure. Sorry for disappoint you and sorry if one day you're being jilted by me. I'm selfish, yes. I'm such a jerk, yes. I'm so evil, yes. You can say anything about me but I'm just being myself. I don't want to hurt people and I don't want to play other people's feelings. I'm sorry for the things I do that make you feel like I don't love you, care about you and cause you pain. I'm sorry for the times that I have broken your heart, made tear drops fall down your cheeks and for being so cold, selfish and unkind to you. I'm sorry for how bad I hurt your feelings that make you feel unloved and alone feeling afraid to love and trust again. I'm sorry for not loving you the way you love me and for not caring for you as you care for me. I truly and honestly hope you can forgive me.

It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone right?

But I try my best. Sure. But love cannot be force right? Just perhaps I can manage all these thing in the right way as long it does not hurt people around me. 


“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
-Marilyn Monroe-

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